Friends

Yesterday while at office, a colleague of mine told me that he’s quite jealous of me for the fact that I’d so many friends. He must have noticed that people have been calling me every now and then, at times just for making a polite conversation laced with a lot of lighthearted banter. Yes, I am indeed blessed with quite a few of them that spread through a timeframe, beginning from my schooldays. He also stated that I do go out of my way to reach out to people which he just cannot do.
I’m really amused with this observation. To explain about the individual that I’d mentioned above and his predicament, it doesn’t require much of analysis or thinking. What I’d observed of him is that he does connect up with people but only if he had a requirement and he is fully aware of whom to tap depending on the circumstances– at times, he even pleads and cajoles and always gets his way - and achieves what he wants. And then the communication gets non-existent. His deduction is that there’s no necessity in keeping a large circle of friends which is at best infructuous and a time and money waster thanks to the accompanying telephone bills. And therein lies his problem and I did tell him that and he seems to have taken it well.
My take on this is nothing very extraordinary because I believe that friendship is a two way process and there is no profit or loss account that needs to be maintained in a relationship. At times, it’s simple things that contribute to a robust relationship like lending a shoulder to cry on or giving a patient hearing to what the other has to say without sitting in judgment or by just remembering an occasion that has a special place in the other’s life. It can also extend to a larger area of partnership be it on the professional, social, financial or emotional levels but the underlying fact being that such a relationship has to be without letting the other burdened with a sense of obligation (if that were to happen, the person receiving your largesse, however needy he/she might be, will feel small and inferior and over a period of time, feel extremely suffocated in the relationship which ultimately has to snap!)
My grandmother, Mrs PN Panicker, used to tell me and I quote, ‘A good friend is like a mirror, you should be able to see yourself with your warts and the moles through him/her achievable by free and frank communication’ and I don't think that I could have put it any better.